Teresa of Avila

Original still available: Acrylic on composite board, ©Sue Ellen Parkinson, 2023, $1800, 22” x 16”

I could not paint Saint Teresa of Avila wearing a nuns habit. I tried to go there, but couldn’t do it. I wanted to see this beautiful spirit free, in soft flowered fabrics, with her hair loose, dancing, and playing her tambourine. The banner over her head bears her words, “God, deliver me from sullen saints.” Teresa lived in the 16th Century and for her, the convent was the only real option other than marriage. She would have made great marriage material though, as she was beautiful, wise, compassionate and full of humor. To her surprise, she found that the contemplative life suited her. But whether she was in the convent, or out in the world, she was very popular. People loved her, and overtime, she grew into a powerful force to be reckoned with.Twice in her lifetime, Teresa was questioned by the Inquisition. She said, ”I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him,” and in her confession (autobiography), which she was required to write to prove her innocence, she is extremely self deprecating. When reading this it made me cringe a bit, but also made me wonder if she, like so many women, was just making herself as small and unthreatening as possible. Was she just saying the things that these men required of her, so she would match their limited perception of who she should be?